Contemplating grief travel & musical tributes as a pathway to healing

Contemplating grief travel & musical tributes as a pathway to healing -

  With the festive season upon us as a time of joy and celebration, I’d like to pause and acknowledge in this episode that this time of the year can be particularly difficult for those who may be grieving. The festive atmosphere and expectations of merriment can make grief feel even more acute, while the absence of a loved one can feel particularly poignant.

It was whilst researching music vigils and musical tributes and the way in which we cope with funerals here on the island, that I came across a term I hadn’t heard before: ‘grief travel’. It was described as an emerging recommendation - often suggested by grief counsellors - that simply involves travelling to a new destination as a way to process loss and trauma.

In this episode we’ll be discussing grief travel as a way to take some time out from our ‘normal everyday routines’ - routines which won’t ever be the same again, with the loss of a loved one, and yet we know we need to somehow find some way in which to live around and with this gap in our lives.

Our Norfolk Island, a remote South Pacific island, is a nurturing escape - it’s only a short flight of under 3 hours from Australia or New Zealand - and when you arrive you will not only see, but also feel the serene beauty and tranquil atmosphere that is here naturally on the island. The island in its natural state can provide solace and a place to explore gentle healing after your experience of loss.

Our Norfolk tradition of ‘saying goodbye’ to a loved one, is the way in which we find our way through grief and loss. Within our small community, we support one another with a deep understanding, often of common ground and experience and without the need for words, but as expressed through our actions.

In the event of a death in our small community, we all know what we can to do to help. We share in compassion and love for the grieving family and friends with a wordless hug, a phone call or a visit to deliver flowers or a homemade meal.

Our funeral process is a special island tradition.

Musical tributes at the funeral is one part of the service which brings much comfort to the family and community gathering as we can join in with the singing or just allow ourselves to be sonically submerged in the beautiful recordings as they echo throughout our cemetery beside the sea. Our musical tributes for family members can include old recordings of favourite hymns or songs of an era, or a live tribute of singers with ukulele’s and guitars  accompanying the funeral service.

Some of our musical tributes include this one, as composed and sung by the late Eileen Snell in the Norf’k language.

And now, it’s that time of the year again, that Christmas is upon us, it can be such a tough time to get through, when you're grieving. 

Allow yourself the space to process your feelings, to cherish the memories you shared with your loved one, and if this means finding a destination in which to escape to, for a little while, Norfolk Island is a very special place, naturally. It just ‘is as it is’.

Untold Norfolk Island Travel Podcast Series - Sponsored by Baunti Tours www.bauntitours.com

Transcript

Contemplating grief travel & musical tributes as a pathway to healing

Welcome to Episode 5 of the Untold Norfolk Island travel podcast series.

My name is Jodie Williams and as a Norfolk Islander & Churchill Fellow, I am your ‘on island’ podcast host.

LISTEN: My Beautiful Island Home’

This week, we begin with the first verse of ‘My Beautiful Island Home’ as composed by islander and singer-songwriter, the late Eileen Snell. This is one of our most favourite songs here on the island, and is often played particularly as a musical tribute and in honour of our loved ones who have passed.

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With the festive season upon us as a time of joy and celebration, I’d like to pause and acknowledge in this episode that this time of the year can be particularly difficult for those who may be grieving. The festive atmosphere and expectations of merriment can make grief feel even more acute, while the absence of a loved one can feel particularly poignant. How can we navigate these deeply challenging emotions and find ways to honour the memory of a loved one during this festive season?

It was whilst researching music vigils and musical tributes and the way in which we cope with funerals here on the island, that I came across a term I hadn’t heard before: ‘grief travel’. It was described as an emerging recommendation - often suggested by grief counsellors and the medical profession - that simply involves travelling to a new destination as a way to process loss and trauma.

In this episode we’ll be discussing grief travel as a way to take some time out from our ‘normal everyday routines’ - routines which won’t ever be the same again, with the loss of a loved one, and yet we know we need to somehow find some way in which to live around and with this gap in our lives.

An important consideration in grief travel planning, is to choose a destination that resonates with you or perhaps it is a place that your loved one always wanted to travel to - a place that can offer a nurturing space for reflection and for processing the myriad of emotions that a space of grief holds for us all - whether it's to find peace, connect with nature, explore a new culture and the way in which they deal with grief and loss, or just simply take a break from your ‘everyday’ and catch your breath.

Our Norfolk Island, a remote South Pacific island, is a nurturing escape - it’s only a short flight of under 3 hours from Australia or New Zealand - and when you arrive you will not only see, but also feel the serene beauty and tranquil atmosphere that is here naturally on the island. The island in its natural state can provide solace and a place to explore gentle healing after your experience of loss.

Grief travel is more than just a holiday; it's a deeply personal journey as you continue to navigate the complexities of loss. Seek to find a destination where you imagine you might be able to pause, breathe, and begin again with small steps in an environment far from the everyday reminders of your grief. Instead of forcing yourself to "get over it," grief travel offers a space to acknowledge your feelings and begin the healing process at your own pace.

You can choose whether you wish to participate in activities thoughtfully considered to ease emotional burdens or perhaps you just wish to find stillness in nature and beach walks. Feel the gentle breeze on your face, the soft earth beneath your feet, and the tranquility of the forest surrounding you. Breathe in fresh, clean air, and let the natural world of the island soothe your soul. This connection with nature can restore your sense of peace and calm.

Grief travel is about finding a place that resonates with your heart. Carve out moments of quiet contemplation to process your deep emotions. Allow yourself the space to grieve, to remember, and to simply be. The gentle rhythm of our island can ‘hold you’ upon this deeply personal journey. Let the vastness of the ocean & the whispering wind, soothe your soul and offer comfort in its gentle embrace.

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LISTEN: SOUNDSCAPE

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Our Norfolk tradition of ‘saying goodbye’ to a loved one, is the way in which we find our way through grief and loss. Within our small community, we support one another with a deep understanding, often of common ground and experience and without the need for words, but as expressed through our actions.

In the event of a death in our small community, we all know what we can to do to help.

We share in compassion and love for the grieving family and friends with a wordless hug, a phone call or a visit to deliver flowers or a homemade meal.

Our funeral process is a special island tradition. The coffin is locally made and the burial plot is provided.

Male relatives and friends gather to dig the grave on a day preceding the funeral service.

On the morning of the funeral, stunningly beautiful wreaths of freshly picked flowers and greenery are made by the wreathmakers as gathered by family and friends of the bereaved.

When the procession leaves the hospital, great respect has always been shown with retail stores closing their doors as the hearse and family cars pass on their way to the cemetery.

If school children are walking home at the same time as the funeral, they stop, stand still and remove their hats. If anyone is driving motorbikes or cars, they too stop and stand alongside the vehicle on the roadside as the funeral procession drives past.

It is very much appreciated when visitors follow this example, if by chance you are also driving by at this time.

And if you happen to be here, visiting the island on a day when a funeral is taking place, there are a few gentle considerations I’d like to share:

If you are unsure as to what day/time the funeral is being held, please ask at the Visitors Information Centre or listen to the local radio broadcast. The flags are flown half-mast on the day of death and the day of the funeral.

If by mistake, you happen to be driving past the Cemetery as people are gathering for a funeral, please slow down and continue along the road without stopping.

It’s very much appreciated if you visit the cemetery itself on a different day to the funeral service..

On another day, separate to the funeral itself, please ask a local to explain the process of how we ‘say goodbye’ to our loved ones. We will be happy to share, at an appropriate time, this very special traditional island custom.

Musical tributes at the funeral is one part of the service which brings much comfort to the family and community gathering as we can join in with the singing or just allow ourselves to be sonically submerged in the beautiful recordings as they echo throughout our cemetery beside the sea. Our musical tributes for family members can include old recordings of favourite hymns or songs of an era, or a live tribute of singers with ukulele’s and guitars  accompanying the funeral service.

Some of our favourite songs include this one, as composed and sung by the late Eileen Snell in the Norf’k language and is called ‘Du we lors auwas wieh’ - which translates to ‘Don’t lose our way’ - That is, ”the Norf’k way” of doing things and how we live > teaching our children our customs and traditions, to speaking the language, planting produce, preparing our traditional dishes, how to fish with a bamboo rod and garden, and how to support one another especially if someone is in need or grieving.

LISTEN: ‘Du we lors auwas wieh’

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And now, it’s that time of the year again, that Christmas is upon us, it can be such a tough time to get through, when you're grieving. Memories of what was once a time of joy and togetherness might now feel profoundly sad and alone. It's completely understandable to experience these feelings especially as this time of the year highlights the physical absence of your loved one.

And as we know, everyone grieves differently and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel. So, talking about your grief can be also be tough, but it can be through sharing your feelings with your trusted friends and family that can make a big difference at this time. Let them know specifically what you're going through – are you feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or just need someone to listen? Honest communication helps others to be able to support you better. For example, you could say something like, "I'm finding Christmas particularly hard this year, and I'd really appreciate it if we could just spend some quiet time together."

It's okay to take your time, as grief is a long road, filled with so many ups and downs. Allow yourself the space to process your feelings, to cherish the memories you shared with your loved one, and if this means finding a destination in which to escape to, for a little while, Norfolk Island is a very special place, naturally. It just ‘is as it is’.

To conclude this week’s episode, I’d also like to share with you an audio listening experience of our island’s raw, natural soundscape as interwoven sonically into a 55 min meditation soundtrack. For the link to this track in Spotify, I’ll include the details in the transcript of this episode.

And if perhaps you feel you would like to gently explore the possibility further of booking a holiday to Norfolk Island, please get in touch with Baunti Escapes travel agents here on the island, who would be happy to help and offer their advice and recommendations.

Thanks so much for joining me this week.
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It is with many thanks to Polly McNamara for her permission to include her Mum, Eileen’s beautiful songs in this week’s podcast episode.
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Meditation soundtrack ‘Eartheld’ - Norfolk Island’s raw natural soundscape: 55 mins